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Not the photo trade news

The following has absolutely nothing to do with the photo industry. In fact it’s not really a story at all…

But with a miserable bloody winter made worse by an even more miserable election campaign, and consumers keeping their wallets in their pockets, and a slow week in the industry, it’s about time for some levity! The following one-liners were voted the funniest at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in a public poll run by a television station channel called Dave:
1. Rob Auton – ‘I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.’
2. Alex Horne – ‘I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.’
3. Alfie Moore – ‘I’m in a same-sex marriage … the sex is always the same.’
4. Tim Vine – ‘My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him “Don’t be Sicily”.’
5. Gary Delaney – ‘I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.’
6. Phil Wang – ‘The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.’
7. Marcus Brigstocke – ‘You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.’
8. Liam Williams – ‘The universe implodes. No matter.’
9. Bobby Mair – ‘I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.’
10. Chris Coltrane – ‘The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.’

(‘Smiley’ icon courtesy

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